Bits and Pieces of Life
I was not certain what to write about today. Early this morning, a piece of my missing childhood memory came back. It was not much of a revelation, but did put some context into those missing years.
I was in seventh grade in 1967. That was also when my father was sent to Vietnam for a one-year assignment. He had been there twice already, but his job on those two temporary duty assignments was to fly KC-135 tankers from Thailand over Laos and North Vietnam. The mission was to refuel B-52 bombers incoming from Guam. Those were high altitude flights and only for three months at a time. In 1967, he would be gone a whole year. That is a lot of time for a family to be missing the dad.
His one-year assignment was flying a spotter plane (one engine prop, single seat). He shot smoke rockets at enemy emplacements around the airport so the fighter-bombers could come and blast them.
I have mentioned the issues my mother had before. She had a very difficult year. For some period of time, my uncle’s wife lived with us to help out. My grandparents did what they could, but most of the time, the three of us were alone. I have also mentioned the difficult relationship I had with my brother. So, I was truly alone.
I have very few snippet memories of those days. That is probably for the best. It was not a good time for me. Still, the time passed and my dad came home, safe at last. He had quite a few new medals to show for his time there.
I believe that was a turning point for my mother. She had gone from okay to not good at all. After that assignment, we moved to California. He spent a few months in training while we lived in Merced. Then we moved to Travis AFB and stayed there four years. Being in the military, my dad was still gone a lot. When he was home, everything was normal. The other times, life was a mess.
When I was at school, all was good. I had my friends. I always loved school. I was in a place where I could excel. My pals and I would play tennis. I could play golf for free at the course on the base too. When that assignment ended, my brother went away to college, and the rest of us moved to Biloxi, Mississippi. That is when things went from bad to tragic for my mother. The day I asked the neighbor to help was the worst day of my life. Within a few days, she was gone.
Those memories are something else I wish I could forget, but that is not possible. Time moves on. Life goes on. The decades since that day have dulled the pain. Better things entered my life and I am grateful to Our Father for all the grace He has shown me.
We are all given challenges in our lives. Sometimes we excel. Other times, we just muddle through. 1967 was definitely a muddle year.
I understand muddle years and also have a couple that I wish I could forget.
That is so true, Karen. There are more recent events I would like erased, but I suppose the trauma was not high enough for my subconscious to step in and start building walls again. Thank you for your comments.
Hi, Karl! With all the content above, it is confirmed that I will not skip over anymore posts and will continue to read them all in order, because I have missed some of what you have referred to above. Since I was posting this one tonight, I thought, ‘why not go ahead and read it while you’re here?’ and that’s what I did. From this point on, though, you will see me reading the posts in order, which means later I’ll be popping up on your post #4 or #5 (I can’t remember where I left off).
That aside, this was a lovely post and proof that you always have content in you, whether you think you do or not. If you stop long enough and reflect, there’s always something to share.
You’re doing a great job and I’m so impressed with your storytelling! I can’t wait to catch up on more!
http://www.nonniewrites.wordpress.com
Thank you, Nonnie. Your thoughts mean a lot to me. I guess it’s no surprise why I have penned so many stories. My mind is overflowing with things I have experienced, and things I have learned. I am normally a very quiet person, but there’s a crazy man living in my head. Thanks again for reading my posts.
I love the term ‘muddle years’, Karl. I have them as well, but yours seem quite tragic. I’m happy that your later years treated you more kindly.
Yvette M Calleiro 🙂
http://yvettemcalleiro.blogspot.com
Yvette, as a military brat yourself, you may have experienced similar events. Wartime is definitely not a good time for families to be separated. Then again, we do not choose when bad things will happen. I am glad my life settled down when I got to college. I am almost a normal person now, almost…
I was blessed that my dad never had to go to war. He volunteered three times for Vietnam and was never sent. When he retired in ’88, he was told to be on standby for the Gulf War. His bags were packed, and we dreaded our phone ringing. He was never called to go. I am very grateful I never had to live through that experience.
War is never good for the families involved. You are lucky to have avoided it. I wish the insanity would end, but with people being as they are, that will never happen. Too many maniacs want power at any cost. You would think we would have learned after millions of year, but no.
So many “muddle” years for so many of us, Karl. Every now and then, I look back and think of the hard years in the 1950s and 1960s, especially the turmoil between my mother and father. My father was a WW II Navy vet who had a massive drinking problem. He also left us for months at a time. He was a construction worker and had to go where the work was. Sometimes that was to Canada, especially Newfoundland and Nova Scotia, sometimes to California and Washington State. My mother worked full-time and I, as the oldest, had the responsibilities for the two younger kids. Some days I look back on those days and wonder how any of us survived. But we did. And we’re here now. Thank you for sharing this with us. It means a lot.
Wanda, it often feels like we get too many challenges in life to cope with. When we get past the problems, we become better people for having dealt with the harshness of reality. It is a heck of a way to live, but we work through it and move on to better things, hopefully. Thanks for you kind words.
Karl, I’m so sorry you went through difficult times, and that your mother suffered as she did. Your experiences and travels, though, have made you the imaginative writer you are today. I will now try to send this, here goes…
Maura, I did receive your comments. Thank you for your kind words. I have been fortunate to travel to many places, often at company expense. I especially loved Europe (Vienna in particular) and Mexico. Unfortunately, Mexico is a terrible mess right now. The current president is a nutcase communist, and allows the drugs cartels to do as they choose. He actually had a slogan about it: “Abrasos, no balasos,” which means Hugs, not bullets. The Mexican citizens are getting more of the latter everyday.
Hi, Karl. I have huge gaps in my memories, too. A scent will sometimes trigger a memory, but never a complete one. I often question where I was, when I was there, what I was doing, and why I buried it. “Muddle years” is a great way to describe the hard times, and I’ve had a few of those. I’m glad you recognize who carried you through them and that He’s blessed you with a good life since then.
Blessings,
Patty
Thank you for the kind words, Patty. Life often gives us challenges. That missing year was almost too challenging for all of us. I think we were all stained with those memories. I think my brother and I recovered. Unfortunately, Mom never could.
Hi Karl,
I feel sympathy for your mother. The Vietnam war was no easy matter and that your father had made several trips was no easy matter for her or her kids. Sometimes I think no one thinks about the families who are left behind to worry if they will ever see their loved ones again.
Shalom aleichem
Pat, you are right. It was a very difficult time for our family. Fortunately for us, he came back safely. Too many others do not. I know it was hard for my mom. Some people find ways to cope, but she could not. Her life became more difficult and she was never able to deal with it. It is sad. I was in shock after she passed. As I wrote, I still remember that day like it was yesterday, even though it was over 50 years ago.
I’m sorry you had to live through those tough times. Maybe you have good memories wedged in there between the sad ones. Do you have photos of your parents or your father in uniform? My photos brought back a few good memories. There are chunks of time I keep forgotten, but the rest weren’t so bad.
I have several pictures over the years. I know my parents and brother were and are good people. Circumstances just worked against my mother. The rest of us had to deal with the loss. I focus on the more current things (those I have not blocked). We are all thrown into this life with no idea how the future will be. Ultimately, we create our own future, even if it is not good. My future looks great and blessed.
Thanks for sharing snippets of your life – the good and the bad. It helps all of us to know that we are not alone.
Shirley, even though we are different people with different viewpoints, we are all points of light for those around us. To me, that is what matters. Everywhere you look on God’s Earth, the vast majority of people are caring for their families and friends. Our similarities far outweigh our differences.